Trust and Suffering

                                                          

Phil 1- (Message Version)

"There is far more to this life than trusting in Christ.  There is also suffering for Him.  And the suffering is as much of a gift as trusting."

Trusting and suffering...two of the hardest parts of following Christ, but so important in our walk with Him.  Lessons I have found hard to learn but are vital to this life.

A friend here from MOPS lost her baby boy about the same point of time in her pregnancy as I did and yesterday was her actual due date.  I woke up with her on my mind and cried through worship at church for her loss and the pain I know she was feeling.  

I have always felt I was pretty good at the trusting part of Christ in my life.  But I must say my life made it pretty easy to do that trusting.  Nothing dramatically huge had tested it before.  Even past relationships, jobs, trials, moving across the country, I felt I could trust God.  Then I had a horrific event happen in my life. I lost my baby boy, who had a beating heart minutes before my body went into full labor, with nothing to be done to stop it.  

So now the suffering portion for God has become a real reality.  Did I still trust Him?  I now knew first hand how scripture didn't make sense even when given to me in comfort and how deep and dark a hole that I was sitting in could feel.  I understood why some gave up the fight and let the darkness, the sadness swallow them whole.  It is a fight; a daily one.  But I knew I had two choices, to "trust" my God is good and know whatever "suffering" came my way He'd bring me through it.

I share all of this to say that because I am choosing to trust and suffer for Christ (we will have these trials regardless, but how we go through them is the choice) I can support and love on my friend in a way I couldn't have before.  Because of my suffering AND because of my trusting God I can be there and encourage her to walk through her darkness and know God is good and the light is on the other side.  I want to bring Glory to Him, despite my weakness and lack of trusting and I know He knows my heart and will help me to do just that.